A little deep here

This blog isn't so much about weight loss or that struggle, cause yes, it is a struggle.  But I have so much other things on my mind.

If my blog only gets readers who "knows" me personally, they know my background story for the most part. If I have any readers who are new to my life, I will do a small background update.  I have four wonderful children by my high school sweetheart.  We have been married almost 19 years.  We have one son, our oldest and three daughters.  Our son is also unique in the fact that he is our only child who doesn't have Cystic Fibrosis, a genetic disease that has effected all three of our girls.  Our oldest daughter passed away in 2009 to this disease.  She was very ill from 6 months of age on.  When she passed away she was actively listed for a lung transplant that never came.  She had a beautiful outer appearance with an even more beautiful inner spirit.  She was 13 and she is missed daily.

That leaves my two other daughters, age 11 & 6.  They are doing very well for having a genetic disease that haunts me every day of my life.  Their lung functions are stable, they're growing good, their blood work is good, things I NEVER take for granted.  All these things are fantastic in the CF community.  But they still breath heavier than most, I don't get a full nights sleep without hearing coughing at one point and we are fanatical about mucus and poop (my cf friends will know what I mean and giggle about this one).  We have one cabinet in my kitchen dedicated to medicine, I have medical equipment and doll houses that sit side by side and if you try to come in my house with a fever or a cough I will go ninja on your butt.  Now please, don't get me wrong.  My girls are my life and I love my life.  I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if my girls had of been born without CF... Yeah my mind usually goes blank.  This is the life we know.  It's "Normal".  Yes, CF is devastating in so many ways but it has been a huge part in making my girls more thoughtful, sincere and loving than most kids.  They are more mature and sympathetic than most people become as adults.  They love without limitations.  My daughter who passed away could love like no other.  Her heart was gigantic.  I am a better person for being allowed to have raised my hero.  I wouldn't change how my life is if it meant changing my girls.  They are blessings to everyone they meet.  They are beautiful little petite blonds and I know I will have my hands full when my 11 year old get's to be a teenager, I can't think about my baby doing this yet so I won't mention her.  So I guess in an odd way, CF has it's perks.  And hey, if I ever need a good dose of salt, I just have to kiss them on the forehead or nose, that's my favorite spot, and I get a good taste of salt. I pray that CF never holds these kiddo's back.

But then there is this dark side to CF.  The side that every day I see more and more heartache from other families. Sometimes social media might not be a blessing.  I am hurting for a fellow CF family here in Kentucky.  They are losing their battle of Cystic Fibrosis.  Their precious 9 year old boy is on hospice care and has told them he is ready to go.  He is tired.  Lord please bless this family.  I have seen a large percentage of my CF friends today alone post about their upcoming hospital visits and I.V. antibiotics.  It seems to be hitting very hard this year.  There have been many deaths in the past weeks as well.  

IT IS SCARY STUFF as a parent to children with CF, I can't imagine how it would be on someone with CF.  But I will not underestimate the strength and courage of the ones with the disease.  I know my Lanie was a lot more prepared to make her journey to heaven than I was.  She tried to prepare me and I honestly think that was the hardest part for her, she worried if me and daddy would be okay.  She once asked me if she died if looking at her pictures would make me sad.  She was probably about 9 or 10.  Well if I could answer her now I'd tell her they bring me comfort, but yes, sadness as well.  I miss her!

But I have to take the closing of this blog to express the hope that I have inside.  A hope that comes only from God and some days is all I have to cling too.  It's a promise, a scripture from God that I know is true.  It's in first Thessalonians's chapter 4: 

¹³ But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.
¹⁴ For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
¹⁵ For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.
¹⁶ For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:
¹⁷ Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
¹⁸ Wherefore comfort one another with these words.

So I would comfort my fellow friends that are suffering tonight.  God has made a plan for believers and followers of Christ to be together again for ALL ETERNITY where no more tears will be shed.  THANK YOU FATHER! 

Love in Christ,
Pam

P.S.  I will be sure to update you soon on my exercise and diet.  I can't wait to share with you how I did with my "Yoga with Bob".  Funny stuff...